By Katie Jackson
Almost 300 years before Thomas Edison filed a patent for his “electric lamp with carbon fiber filament” in New Jersey, Sir John Harrington was tinkering on a present for his godmother in England.
In 1596, Queen Elizabeth’s technologically advanced—it could last 20 uses between flushes—toilet was impressive. But today, it wouldn’t hold a much-needed candle to Crystal Mozart’s porcelain thrones. Equipped with heated seats, air-drying fans, self-cleaning wands, tornado jet flushing, and oscillating and pulsing comfort washing, the stateroom TOTO toilets introduce a whole new level of comfort to the lavatory experience. While sipping welcome champagne, guests are entertained with their butler’s toilet tutorial in which they learn how to use the remote control to adjust their customize-able commode. There are 10 settings for pressure and position alone!
Yes, the toilets have remotes. After all, why would you want to touch the toilet itself? Motion sensors tell the lid when to automatically open and close, and the toilet is even smart enough to store optimal settings for up to two users. All guests have to do is remember if they’re user one or user two.
But bathrooms aren’t the only rooms on Crystal Mozart boasting ahead-of-the-times technology. Crystal Mozart’s IT Officer, Damian, is so confident in the vessel’s equipment and setup—everything is less than a year old—he answers the question “What keeps you up at night?” with one word: “Nothing.” Crystal Mozart is one of this continent’s most connected river vessels, boasting one of the largest satellites and a router for each suite —something that’s practically unheard of in the industry.
Technology at guests’ fingertips starts with iPads® they find in their suites. “They are like posh remote controls that work anywhere on the boat,” says Damian. These digital directories allow guests to order room service, book shore excursions and spa treatments or catch up on headlines back home. Other in-room technology includes touchscreen controls which adjust room lighting and temperature so guests can create their ideal ambience. Those Do Not Disturb or Please Make Up My Room door hanger signs? They’re digital too. In fact, any time guests want to contact their butlers or suite attendants, all they have to do is touch a screen and their request buzzes on an iPod in the right recipient’s pocket.
Even Waterside Restaurant’s kitchen relies on tech for receiving lobster bisque and crème brulée orders. Each waiter iPod® request goes to a printer at the appropriate prepping station and is integrated with the master iPad detailing the entire order. If guests want to work off extra calories, they’ll find Jetson-worthy exercise machines waiting for them in Crystal Mozart’s fitness center. Have an hour of downtime while cruising between ports along the Danube? Why not hop on the treadmill and jog your favorite route in San Francisco? In typical virtual reality fashion, the video feels like real time because it plays at the speed the user is running.
While every suite has a 40-inch high-definition TV, some also feature mirrors that double as movie screens. In the Vintage Room, a Neoclassical painting slides back to highlight a hidden TV—perfect for a private dinner and a movie or an important business presentation. On the top deck, a “vanishing” screen magically appears next to the pop-up bar (it literally rises up out of the floor) for movies under the stars. In Palm Court, a wall of golden art obscures an 80-inch TV and a remote-controlled marble bar top rises up to reveal another TV used for guest lectures.
Crystal Mozart is also outfitted with live streaming entertainment. Channels 17-20 broadcast real time footage from four strategically placed cameras. To see what’s happening outside, on all sides, guests just have to turn on their TVs. They can also hear about what’s happening around them. Each room is equipped with handheld listening devices that buzz every time Crystal Mozart approaches a historic point. Guests who choose to tune in are treated to commentary detailing the site’s significance.
The irony of experiencing 12th Century villages aboard a vessel outfitted with the latest in 21st Century technology is not lost on Crystal Mozart’s guests. “I feel like I’m traveling in a time machine and Crystal Mozart is the bridge back and forth,” says Becky Jackson. She’s enjoying a Viennese Melange in Bistro while using her tablet to upload photos from a cathedral hopping tour.
Meanwhile, somewhere in their respective cemeteries, Edison and Harrington are tossing and turning in their graves, asking what every inventor asks after the fact.
Why didn’t I think of that?
Crystal Mozart’s technology offers a streamlined experience that enhances the unmatched luxury of the Crystal River Cruises Experience. Begin your journey today.